Parenting includes many difficult moments – however, your loved one going to college probably wins this list. Letting your child be independent and starting a chapter in life where you’re not included is undoubtedly tough. However, there are ways to make this easier. It is important to take a couple of steps emotionally to prepare for this moment, but also learn how to handle the whole process with ease. Here are the best tips for parents – how to survive sending your child off to college?
Why is this such a difficult moment?
Firstly, you should know that it’s absolutely fine to feel bad for sending your child off to college. For many families, this is the first moment when parents and children spend a long time apart. Parents often wonder if this is the time when their kids leave them – it’s not. Even though you feel your child is starting a new life chapter and you should disappear, the situation is quite different. Parents need to change their roles a bit and find the balance between supportive and overprotective. It’s true that you won’t spend so much time together, but you need to stay in your child’s life as strongly as ever.
Accept the changes
Understanding the changes and accepting the new role is the first step of preparation. Until this moment, you’ve covered most of the roles in your child’s life. You’ve been the ultimate caretaker – even if your kids were always independent. Nevertheless, it’s time to let them take care of themselves while you accept the role of coach. Instead of taking care of their basic needs, now it’s time to focus only on supporting, guiding, and cheering them on. This will make your child independent and strong, but always know you’re there whenever they need you.
It’s not only about parents
This is a difficult stage in life for both sides, so try to be as understanding as possible. Remember that your child is facing the unknown, and they may have a hard time adjusting. Facing new responsibilities, taking care of yourself, and meeting new people are very challenging. Therefore, try to be supportive and helpful, someone who listens and gives great advice. Children are often as anxious as parents and not ready to face the responsibilities, so they need support from the people they love the most. The infographic below offers insight as to what college stress looks like and what you can do about it.
Managing The College Stress Epidemic was offered by Generations College, a community college in Chicago
Keep in touch
Staying connected to your child is one of the most important steps in sending your child off to college. Make sure you regularly keep in touch but find the balance so that you don’t push too hard. Talk to your child about how often and in what way they would like to communicate. This will help them feel secure but not interrupt their plans and study time. Some families prefer texting, video calls, etc. Try to create a schedule and stick to it – it is important that your kid knows you’re there for them.
Regular communication and a positive attitude will help your student adjust to the new environment.
Help your child organize the move
Keeping busy with planning the move to college has twofold benefits. Firstly, you’ll ease your worries and stress knowing everything is well-organized. Secondly, you’ll make the move safe and smooth for your child so that they can start this journey with ease. Always remember that good preparation is the key to a stress-free relocation, so be sure to start on time. Work together with your child in order to take care of packing, picking the right mover for the job, and other moving tasks. Proper planning and organization will ensure you do everything on time and relocate your child with ease.
You’ll be more peaceful with sending your child off to college if you are sure they’ll relocate safely.
Give them some space
Along with accepting your new role in life, try to be patient in the first period after sending your child to college. Students need to be given some time to adjust, meet new friends, and explore the environment. Everything is new and exciting to them, so try to understand if they don’t call as much or ask about the home. Give them time to settle down and accept everything new that is happening. Also, be supportive during critical times such as finals – they are very stressful for students. Stepping back when necessary is the skill you learn over the years, and this is the time to practice it.
Let them deal with problems on their own
As we said, you’re no longer the ultimate caretaker. Now you need to act as a guide, through both good and bad times. It’s normal for new students to struggle with all sorts of problems. However, you should remember that this is their chance to gain experience, learn how to take care of themselves and solve problems on their own. So, instead of rushing there to help your child out, try to talk and guide them to the solution to their problem.
Dealing with the grades
Looking back at high school, you may expect your child to continue the same trend with the grades. However, it happens quite often that students get some bad grades at the beginning of their studies. The way of learning and taking tests, as well as the amount of responsibilities, is much different in college, so give them some time to adjust. Try not to increase their anxiety, but boost your child’s confidence with cheering words and helpful advice.
Grades are often a huge cause of stress for students – be supportive and help out!
They grow up so fast!
You thought that the moment of sending your child off to college wouldn’t come so fast. But it did, and you’re not prepared for it. It’s fine, most of the parents aren’t. However, the fears and anxiety should transfer from parents to kids. It’s true that they don’t have the same amount of experience as parents, but now is the time to start gaining some. Let them be, and enjoy this fantastic time of seeing your child grow and walk towards their dreams.
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