Whether it be your own parents or the in-laws, living with parents as an adult comes with its own set of challenges. Learning to set healthy boundaries can greatly assist you with cultivating a positive living situation. In this post, we’ll go over some simple, yet effective ways for you to be able to create stability and foster clear and effective boundaries.
Learn to Say No, Respectfully
We often are taught to say no to peer pressure in school. Saying no to unwanted advice or unwarranted criticism, for example, can help mitigate any tension and prevent disagreements from escalating. This is a really powerful tool that is probably one of the most underrated things you can say. Learning to say no respectfully, is the key to making sure all parties involved do not feel disrespected.
Make a Family Schedule
Do you work from home? Are your kids in school? Do you have several weekly commitments you need to keep track of? Making a family schedule is a great way to help you stay on top of everything, and to show your live-in parents when they can and can’t expect you to be available. This way, you can avoid any concerns surrounding neediness, and delineate the times that you will be receptive to more social interactions.
Choose A Person to be the Intermediary
It’s never a bad idea to have someone else with you during important conversations with your live-in parents. Especially if you feel like you aren’t listened to or respected in the way that you feel is right. The key is choosing someone else that they trust and who is a good communicator, potentially your spouse or someone that they will be receptive towards. This way, you do not have to carry the entire weight of responsibility when it comes to delivering a hard message.
Keep True to the Boundaries You Establish
The first step is to determine the boundary. The second is to communicate it. Once both these things take place, you need to stay committed to keeping those boundaries in place. Don’t expect everyone to be on board the entire time. So sticking to what you want, and being consistent with what you will and won’t tolerate, is probably one of the most significant things you could do to preserve a healthy, happy life for everyone involved.
It’s important to note that boundaries are meant to promote a good relationship. While there are many ways to develop a strong bond with in-laws, sometimes you will need to establish limits also. Whether your live-in parents live with you or in granny pods or an in-law apartment, it’s always a good idea to consider your options. Luckily, companies like ApartmentGuide are a great resource for finding the ideal space for your living situation.