Disciplining is part of bringing up children, but it confuses and exhausts many parents. It is a joy to have well-behaved children, but this does not just happen out of the blue. It takes hard work, consistency, patience, and determination. What you need to remember is that even the well-behaved children have their downward moments. Children also have their weak points, and the parents must realize, understand and learn how to deal with the weaknesses.
Spell Out Your Expectations Boldly
When children know what it is expected of them, they are more likely to work hard to meet those expectations. Children love pleasing adults especially their parents, and when they know that doing something will annoy you, they might not do it. The expected behavior should not just be at home but also in school. Also, when there are set boundaries, they are less likely to overstep them. Respect and the need to please you will make them stay within limits.
Don’t Just Spell Out the Rules but Explain
Yelling commands all the time leaves children confused. With time, they will learn to ignore the many “do not,” and “no’s.” Children need to be explained to why they cannot do something. When you tell them not to do something, follow on to explain the reason behind it. For instance when you tell them, “don’t leave your toys on the floor” follow up to explain the reason they should not do this. “When you leave them on the floor, someone can trip on them and get hurt badly, or it will be hard to find them next time you want to play.”
Praise and Acknowledge Your Child’s Effort
Children love to be praised the same way they like pleasing you. When they do something positive, acknowledge it and congratulate them. If they have done something right, don’t keep quiet but thank and praise them even in the presence of their other siblings. This will make them want to please you even more. If it is something good they have done in school or they passed a test, you can even buy them a gift. If they are putting in more effort in their studies, encourage them even further. This also helps handle anxiety disorders in children because their efforts are appreciated. They will be happier and more confident.
It is not just about telling them, but your body language and facial expression should also show you are pleased. You can hug, or use any appropriate body language such as holding them, a pat, thumbs up or anything else they prefer. Be cautious of children who do not like being touched.
Be Involved in their Lives
Every time your child comes home from school, show them you are happy to see them again. Welcome them with a big smile and hug if possible. Ask them how the day was and get to know if they are going through any particular challenges or any way you can be of help. Be empathetic when they open up to you about their problems. If you sound judgmental or try to demean or point that they are in the wrong, they may not open up to you in the future. Also, make sure you get involved in the activities they love. More so, do not miss any of their school events. Play with them, have fun, crack age-appropriate jokes, sing, dance and do anything else that will help you get close.
Teach Them How to be Proud of Who They Are
Being proud of their achievements makes them confident and boosts their self-esteem. They will also have the energy to work hard to achieve more. Also, it is important for children to realize that others have feelings. This makes them more sensitive to other children’s needs. They will find it easier to share what they have with children in school and help them whenever they can. It is also important to let children learn how to solve their problems without interfering unless it is necessary.
Bringing up well-behaved children transforms them into responsible adults. It makes things easier for teachers, you and other people who are involved in their lives. Also, it makes you proud as a parent of well-behaved children.