Divorce is never pretty, especially when children are involved. If you and your spouse are headed to divorce, there are things both of you can do to ensure your children come out of the process happy and healthy. The key is to make sure your children know the divorce has nothing to do with them and help them understand how much you and your former spouse love them. Here are some other tips to help kids get through a divorce.
Spend Quality Time Together
First, make sure you and your children spend time together during a tough situation like divorce. Schedule a fun family vacation with you and your kids to get some downtime together. With a big change like divorce, your kids may feel extra vulnerable and will need your support and presence. Avoid spending long hours late at work or going out of town without your kids to help them survive this difficult process.
Avoid Badmouthing
Next, make sure you and your ex don’t engage in badmouthing. While your former relationship may still have some unresolved issues leaving you and your ex with a lot of hurt feelings, it’s never a good idea to bring the kids into that mess. While it may feel good temporarily to get that stuff off of your chest, it’s best to say it to your therapist or friends instead of your children. Badmouthing is also something that could get you accused of parental alienation and jeopardize your future relationship with your children.
Keep in Communication
During and after the divorce, it’s also important to keep up with consistent communication with your ex. Start thinking about how to develop healthy co-parenting habits to make it easier for your children. It’s important for both parents to keep each other in the loop about their kids’ schooling, health, activities, and any other issues.
Have a Fair Custody Schedule
Another important part of helping children get through a divorce is to have a fair custody schedule. Most families prefer a joint custody schedule that gives each parent equal time. If one parent refuses to share custody, it’s important to find a law firm to represent you, such as Cordell & Cordell, so you can fight for your parental rights. A long, drawn-out custody battle is never a good thing for a family, but sometimes it’s necessary for parents to work with their counsel and get advice from firms like Cordell and Cordell to keep their children in their lives.
Be on the Same Page
Co-parents should also be on the same page about childrearing whenever possible. No matter what kind of custody schedule you and your ex have, it’s important there is some consistency in your children’s lives. Both parents need to be on the same page about discipline, friends, schoolwork, rules, and other situations related to the kids’ daily routine.
Keep Kids Busy
During a divorce, some kids struggle, so it’s important to offer support to your children so they get through the big changes. It’s a good idea to keep your child’s schedule busy with extracurricular activities, such as sports, music, arts, and other hobbies. Children involved in community activities may have an easier time adjusting to the changes.
Monitor for Any Problems
Finally, make sure you and your ex continue to monitor your children carefully for potential problems during the divorce. Keep an eye on your child’s emotional health and mood and seek help if you notice any differences or struggles. Monitor their academic progress, relationships with friends, and their overall disposition to check for emotional well being.
Your children can get through a tough divorce if you put their needs above your own and avoid some of the pitfalls. Use these tips to help you and your family survive a split and come out healthy and ready for the next chapter.