Why You Shouldn’t Stay in a Marriage Only for Kids

Divorce is one of the most stressful events in a person’s life. In one way or another, it affects everyone who knows you and your ex-spouse. Your parents, close friends, and, of course, your children are all engrossed in your personal situation. That is why, very often, in order to spare children the pain of living through the parents’ divorce, people decide to postpone it and remain unhappy in a relationship, at least until the kids reach adulthood.

However, this is not the best decision you can make. While growing up in a two-parent home can indeed make your kids’ lives more comfortable, it can also make it unbearable when there’s no love between the parents. Constant arguing, shouting, toxic relationships, and a lack of communication all have a greater impact on your children – they actually see more than you can imagine. And sometimes, just like experts from https://www.survivedivorce.com/ constantly remind, you need to help them feel that the world is full of love and healthy communication – even if that means divorce. 

Are you still not convinced? Read on to learn why you shouldn’t stay in a marriage only for children.

Your Marriage Might Be Unhealthy for Your Children

As a parent, you are responsible for providing your children with a safe environment where they can thrive and grow up to be mature and happy people. However, if you feel miserable in your marriage, staying in it for the kids can be detrimental.

When a child is exposed to a toxic environment, they are likely to develop emotional problems themselves, even if they are not the direct object of your anger or the cause of their depression. This can harm their mental health during adolescence and adulthood. 

Children who grow up in a home with parents who fight and argue all the time usually have trouble forming healthy relationships and don’t know how to empathize and communicate with others. They often turn into bullies or fall victim to bullying themselves.

If you decide to stay together for children, chances are your child will develop mental problems such as anxiety, depression, and or personality disorder issues. This can also lead to other behavioral issues, such as alcohol or drug abuse.

It Can Negatively Impact Your Relationship With Your Child

When you stay in a relationship only for kids, you are sending them the wrong message. You tell them that it’s okay to put your own needs aside and be unhappy, as long as you stay together.

Also, when your marriage is not happy, chances are your children won’t feel like they can be honest with you about how they really feel. They might feel like you can’t take it if they tell you they are unhappy about something. This can lead to even more serious problems, such as self-harm or drug abuse.

On the other hand, children who witness their parents break up and find happiness on their own feel secure and confident, as they know it’s worth pursuing happiness in life. 

Your Kids Need a Model of a Healthy Relationship

Many people think that avoiding divorce is good for kids, but it actually teaches them unhealthy relationship habits. It tells them they should stay in an unhealthy relationship and that complaining and fighting can solve differences. When children grow up like this, they might be more likely to engage in similar behavior later on in their own marriage.

If you want your children to grow up as strong and healthy people, they need to see a healthy relationship model. Instead of tearing each other down, they need to observe how a couple communicates, supports each other, and shares their feelings.

Your Children Will Feel the Pressure

Think about it – if you stay in a marriage that makes you unhappy, your children will feel the pressure to “save” their parents’ relationship. They will feel responsible for keeping you and your spouse together and believe they can do something about it. Even if they are not old enough to understand the reasons behind your unhappiness and a bad marriage, and even if they can’t do anything about it, they will still feel like they should do something. And if everything fails, they might even blame themselves.

Once your children grow up and realize that their efforts didn’t bring any results, they may feel discouraged and disappointed because they failed to keep their families together. This will affect their self-esteem and leave them feeling depressed and lonely.

Final Note

It’s not easy to leave a marriage, especially if children are involved. However, we firmly believe that it’s the best decision you can make for your kids and yourself. If you feel like your relationship is toxic and that staying together for the kids is not an option, think about getting help from family & divorce lawyers who can help you make the right decision. At the end of the day, you need to do what’s best for your kids and yourself. And we’re sure you know that not everything that seems good is actually good.


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