Losing a loved one is one of the most heartbreaking events anyone can face, and it often leaves friends and family feeling confused on what they should do to help. Here we’ll discuss specific ways to be there for a grieving friend during a difficult time.
Understanding Grief
Grief is a process that affects everyone differently, but the common stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages are not linear and everyone grieves differently. Sadness, anger, and guilt are common emotional responses to grief.
How to There for a Grieving Friend
Provide Presence, Not Solutions
One of the most important things you can do is just be there. This is where active listening comes in; let them talk without finding a solution for their problems. Try to steer clear of clichés such as “they are in a better place” because it can feel dismissive. Rather use supportive language such as “I am here for you” or “I can’t pretend to know what it feels like, but I am here if you need someone just to listen.”
Spending time together can be a great support. Just by visiting, calling or even sending them a simple message can cause a huge impact. It can also be useful to offer help, which may include cooking a meal or doing household chores for your friend so that he or she has one less task on the long list of things they need to do during their healing journey.
How to Effectively Communicate
Language is important, in both what to say, and even more importantly sometimes, what not to say. Empathetic language simply acknowledges what the other person is going through, such as “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Try not to say things like “well they lived a long life” or “it was their time” as it can feel dismissive.
Engaged Listening
Pay genuine attention to your friend. Active listening techniques include nodding, making eye contact, and mirroring what they sack back to themselves. Be patient, and let your friend tell you what they feel when the time is right.
Continuing Care
Grief does not stop after the funeral. Follow-up calls provide ongoing support after the first few weeks of having received bad news. When you remember key dates such as death anniversaries, other significant days for them, and the birthdays of their loved ones there is some comfort too that may be found in knowing someone else recognizes this perpetual mourning.
Encouraging Professional Help is a Reason
Sometimes professional help is needed. Your friend may need professional help if their depression has lasted for weeks or months, they have isolated themselves and stopped using social supports more broadly, or appear hopeless. Be subtle and lightly suggest therapy as a constructive path to optimal health.
Make resources available
Share details about different therapy choices like individual counseling, group therapy, and social media. Support groups can also provide a sense of community and common ground, something that those grieving may find to be a great source of solace.
Additionally, if the circumstances of the loss involve potential legal matters, such as wrongful death, it may be helpful to provide information on consulting a wrongful death lawyer for legal advice and support.
Self-Care for You: Practice Self-Compassion While Supporting Your Friend
You can feel emotionally worn out by offering support to a friend who is grieving. Remember to check in on yourself and get the necessary support, if required. Create boundaries, so you do not become overwhelmed. By doing self-care activities like working out, meditating, or participating in your hobbies you can make sure to take care of yourself while helping another person.
Helping a friend process their grief requires presence, patience, and compassion. By having a strong understanding of the five stages of grief, and showing them consistent love and support you can best be there for a friend.
