Although most people consider their friends important, friendships tend to factor into our priorities differently as we get older. Between work, family, and other personal obligations, many adults find themselves unable to maintain friendships the way they did in their younger years. Fortunately, while it’s true that successful adult friendships require some work, maintaining them may not be as difficult as you think – particularly if you equip yourself with the following tips.
Check-in with One Another on a Regular Basis
In the digital age, there are ample ways to keep in touch with friends. From traditional phone calls to text messages to social media, staying in touch is far from a difficult undertaking. So, while finding the time to drop someone a line may prove slightly cumbersome, doing so should be well within your abilities. Additionally, keep in mind that checking in with someone doesn’t have to entail sending them a mountain of text messages or engaging in an hours-long phone conversation. Simply asking someone how they’re doing and/or letting them know you’re thinking of them can be a fantastic way to keep the lines of communication open without sacrificing huge amounts of time or expending huge amounts of effort.
Meet Up on a Regular Basis
While staying in touch with old friends is undeniably important, so too is meeting up with them on a regular basis. Of course, this isn’t to say that maintaining a friendship needs to entail hanging out multiple times per week, but you should try to see each other in person at least several times a year – provided, of course, your respective geographic locations make this feasible.
If you’re looking to stay connected to a large group of friends, organizing a big meet up once every few months can be a great way to keep in touch and see each other’s faces on a semi-consistent basis. To keep things lively, you should consider alternating which person is in charge of hosting and/or organizing these get-togethers. This will help ensure that each meetup is unique and prevent individual group members from feeling overwhelmed.
Give Your Friends Ample Space
No matter how stoked you are about reconnecting with certain friends, it’s important to understand and accept that others may not share your enthusiasm. For example, if you haven’t reached out to someone in years, it may take them a while to warm up to the idea of jumping back into a friendship with you. Should this prove to be the case, give the other party ample space and avoid forcing the issue. Once they’ve had time to properly consider reconnecting, they may be more amenable to the idea than they initially appeared to be.
Keep in mind, however, that this is far from a guarantee. As people get older, their priorities often undergo a considerable shift. Furthermore, some of your old friends have likely changed in ways you can’t even imagine. So, regardless of how much you want to get certain friendships back on track, you should emotionally prepare for the possibility that some people may have no interest in reconnecting. In all likelihood, this is not an indictment of you as a friend, but rather an indication that someone simply lacks the personal bandwidth to jump back into a long-dormant friendship. No matter how disappointed you are by this development, you’d be wise to leave your old friend in peace and abstain from pressing the matter.
Reconnect Over Shared Causes
If there are any causes about which you and an old friend are deeply passionate, why not pursue volunteer opportunities? Not only can taking part in charitable endeavors help the two of you reconnect, but it can also facilitate positive change in the lives of others and heighten public awareness of important causes. For example, if stamping out human trafficking is important to the two of you, don’t hesitate to reach out to organizations that fight human trafficking.
There’s no big mystery as to why many of us gradually lose touch with friends as we get further and further into adulthood. As the various responsibilities synonymous with adulthood come to occupy more and more of our time, friendships often take a backseat to a growing number of obligations. However, maintaining friendships well into adulthood doesn’t have to be a harrowing undertaking, especially when the pointers outlined above are put to practical use.
