The pandemic has had a significant impact on all facets of life, including relationships. According to The New York Post, the interest in divorce had increased by 34% in the United States by April 2020. Newer married couples had the highest rates of filing for divorce. Twenty percent of couples who had been married for five months or less were seeking divorce at the time compared to 11% of the same group in 2019, according to divorce records.
Learn about how the pandemic has affected divorce rates and how you can minimize the impact it has on your family.
Why Has the Pandemic Impacted the Divorce?
The pandemic has created new problems as well as amplified existing ones. Some of the most common reasons for marital conflict such as financial stress, disagreements about parenting, and the allocation of household chores are heightened with the pandemic. In many situations, these already existing problems have become a bigger stress due to more people working and learning from home. Additionally, many spouses are finding very few outlets and experiencing difficulty being at home all the time, often with their spouse present in the same limited space.
Another reason is that support systems are more difficult to access with everyone struggling in different ways. In the most serious situations, people have responded violently to the pandemic, as evidenced by a 9% increase in outreach to the National Domestic Violence Hotline during 2020 compared to the same time period in 2019.
What Are the Best Ways to Support Your Marriage During the Pandemic?
It may not be too late to save your marriage. Try these effective methods to keep your relationship intact regardless of what is happening in the world:
Listen to Each Other
The pandemic has created new challenges for many families. Listen compassionately to your partner’s fears and concerns while validating their feelings. Many people are struggling with things such as job loss, financial uncertainty, having to homeschool children for the first time , or caring for older relatives at a higher risk for COVID.
Set Up a Schedule
While it may feel tempting to let one day drift into another, adults and children alike thrive when there is predictability and a regular schedule. Try to stick to your normal routine, even if you are now working from home instead of at the office. Remember those little things you used to do for each other, like texting “I love you” or bringing home a snack after work.
Pick Your Battles Wisely
While everything may seem important, it is now more crucial than ever that you concentrate your efforts on those subjects that really need a resolution. For other problems, you may be able to postpone the conversation until there are new things to consider or alternatives that open up.
Get More Information about Your Spouse
Use people search tools that are publicly available in order to get personal information about your spouse. This will help you understand if there are any difficulties or problems that are hidden from you. Knowing them will lead you to wiser conversations and solving problems together. This will reinforce your union and help you build trust in your relationship.
Plan a Date Night
Even if you live somewhere with a stay-at-home order in place, make quality time for you and your partner by having a weekly date night. Even if you have to lay out a picnic in your living room, this can be a great way for you to reconnect with your partner.
Make Time for Yourself
Now that you and your partner may be sharing the same space, it is even more important that you carve out some alone time and self-care for yourself. Schedule time when you can be alone at home or when you take a walk or do some other activity. You can also use the time to check in with friends and family who help give you a boost of energy.
You may decide that the best thing to do right now is to temporarily separate. This can give you an opportunity to reevaluate your relationship and your priorities. During this separation, you may try to get child custody and ask your separation lawyer about the steps you must take during the process. Child custody laws vary in different states, but you generally have to show that it is in your child’s best interests to live with you based on factors, such as:
- Your relationship with your child
- Your’s and the other parent’s mental and physical health
- Your child’s preferences
- Your child’s connection to their home and community
- Your child’s age
- Any history of domestic violence, alcoholism, or drug abuse
- Your ability to encourage a strong relationship with the other parent
- Any other factor the court determines is relevant
However, whenever you invite the legal system into your relationship, you risk the court making an unfavorable decision that is not best for your family. Through mediation, positive communication, and a commitment to unconscious coupling, you can avoid prolonged courtroom battles.
- Conscious uncoupling acknowledges the possibility of an amicable split. It focuses on achieving the following goals:Finding emotional freedom
- Reclaiming your power and life
- Breaking negative patterns
- Healing your heart
- Creating your own definition of love
Couples who go through this process are much more likely to minimize conflict and the negative impact of divorce on their children.
The pandemic has been hard on all of us, but you do not have to allow it to wreck your marriage or relationship with your children. Follow the tips above to help you put a plan in place to protect your family.
About the Author
Ben is a Web Operations Executive at InfoTracer who takes a wide view from the whole system. He authors guides on entire security posture, both physical and cyber. Enjoys sharing the best practices and does it the right way!