5 Tips for Fathers Surviving the Divorce Process

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko: Pexels

The divorce process can break you both emotionally and financially. But you don’t have to be hard on yourself. In fact, you can make the process less stressful and healthier for everyone, including your kids, if you’d follow these tips for fathers surviving this difficult time and stage. 

Communication With People

Don’t try to keep that male machismo by hiding your feelings or not talking about your problems to other people. You should not think twice of seeking emotional help instead.  As you may know, divorce can be an isolating time, so connect with friends, family, life coaches, clergy, and counselors if you need to.

On the other hand, you might also want to be a support for other fathers going through a divorce. After all, it feels good to reach out, share stories and possibly inspire other dads. Doing so, you’re not just opening communication lines but also your heart by serving as a support for other fathers out there who are looking for their path through the devastating and stressful process.

Regarding communication with children, keep the lines open, too. Attend their recitals, show up to their games, and praise them. Don’t forget to help them with their homework and spend some time having fun with them. Never talk negatively about their mom, regardless of how she talks about you to them. In short, maintain positive reactions with your children to preserve your relationship with them even when the divorce is over.

Hire an experienced divorce attorney

Find and seek an experienced divorce attorney sooner rather than later. Get one early in the process, but be sure to check and look for references. Do not settle for a lawyer just because he/she is your relative or family friend. Instead, it will be in your best interest to contact professional Maryland divorce attorneys, or similar lawyers in your area, that have the expertise and knowledge to handle your case. Better yet, look for one that has a solid background working with divorcing fathers. You can also get recommendations from divorced dads or call up the local state bar association and ask for referrals.

Your health does matter

Yes, you’re right. The divorce procedures and processes are long and time-consuming, adding to the stress and agony you might be feeling right now. But it does not mean neglecting your health. It matters. 

You should take care of yourself or else stress can take a toll on your health. That said, you should focus on staying healthy. It is the perfect time to go to the gym or enter a new sport, like football.  

Sports can divert your attention from stress while also opening opportunities to socialize and improve your health.

A busy body also helps you get into your life’s best shape. But even if exercise is a big help, you should not forget to have a balanced diet, get enough sleep, and not overload your body with fast food and preserved food.

Set aside time each day for your workouts, plan your meals, and have a balanced life.  

Nevertheless, it is always a great strategy to look after your health during (and after) the divorce process. After all, a healthy body also means less anxiety and more opportunities to enjoy your life even at this emotionally difficult stage.

Try not to be the aggressor (by yourself)

You have probably heard a thousand times, “Take the high road.”  In divorce, it is one of the best things to do if you want a smooth process.  It also refers to keeping the dirty details of why you and your ex-spouse are getting divorced to yourself.  But of course, every rule has an exemption. You can disclose the details to some family members or close friends, but not to an entire soccer team. You know what that means, right?  Calm down and act as a mature adult.

You should try not to be the aggressor, so you should be on your best behavior at all times.   For example, you should stay rational, no matter how difficult your ex is and how bad she’s been treating you lately.

Not being the aggressor also means keeping your records clean. Try limiting your alcohol consumption or jumping into a new relationship while the divorce is ongoing.  You should also try not to use social media to post negative things about your ex especially direct insults toward her. Or else, being irresponsible can affect the divorce’s outcome. 

Patience is the key

If there’s one virtue you need in divorce, that’s patience. You know how hearings are time-consuming and frustrating. Sometimes, they would be moved several times with a month or two intervals in between schedules if the judge had surgery, for example.  There can also be delays because of life circumstances, such as job loss. This can change an agreement for a settlement, and it happens.

That’s why you need a truckload of patience during a divorce. A tip, you must focus on the known and try not to overwhelm yourself with too many questions, such as what will happen to me after divorce? Will I leave alone forever? There are so many uncertainties, and you have to be patient.  You will receive answers in time, so let life take its place.

Divorce is perfect to reflect and focus on yourself and on your plan.  No matter what, focus on what you know and be patient. Don’t stress yourself trying to get a divorce fast. Again, it is a long journey out there.

Final Thoughts

There you have some useful tips for fathers surviving divorce that you might want to use for yourself while undergoing this difficult stage in your life. Certainly, divorce isn’t easy but the process can be smoother and healthier for you. So again, try not to be the aggressor, hire an experienced divorce attorney, have patience, take care of your health, and communicate with people.

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